RELATIONSHIP MASTERY: OUR THOUGHTS
Scientists say that ninety-eight percent of our twenty thousand genes' total chromosome population is predicated on our parents' DNA. It means that if we wish to individualize ourselves more than we currently are, we only have a two percent chance of getting it right.
Some people have a past fraught with failure. Often, people seek comfort by blaming others, especially parents, for past errors, citing the outcome of poor parenting decisions reflective in their present. But this is not only a one-way street. Like their progeny, parents also blame children for their inadequacies. Siblings, too, cast admonishment at their fellow siblings. Years and even decades after the inauguration of the failure, parents, siblings, and other nay-sayers may fail in marriage, business, develop personality and other social disorders, or just turn out to be mediocre. They may attribute their lack of a meaningful and significant existence to their beloved villain that becomes their universal dartboard for everything wrong with their lives.
If we are going to condemn others for our deficiencies, then as we shoot subjective arrows dipped in blame, poison, and other vagaries containing everything that went wrong in us, do it properly. We should then also fire objective arrows soaked in sugar, spice, and all things nice for all that they did right for us.
If we cannot leave bitterness, malice, and anger behind us, we are only imprisoning and enslaving ourselves. On Nelson Mandela’s release after spending twenty-seven years in prison, he could have been a bitter man. He could have taken vengeance on the people that sent him to jail. But on his release from prison on 11 February 1990, he said as I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison. Our dear friends, let go of the past. The past belongs in the past. By letting go of the baggage of the past, you could become a President, Multi-Millionaire, Unifier of a Country, the Icon of the Century, and an international beacon of hope, just like Mandela did. Before he went into jail, he was merely a lawyer. The Apartheid despots labeled him a terrorist. But when he came out, he emerged as a superstar. He was no longer a terrorist, but a therapist to the very errorists that sent him to jail. During his Presidency, he even met with the former Apartheid President, PW Botha. After he chose to let go of the past ills instigated and perpetrated against him and his people, the ubiquitous President Mandela spoke at the United Nations, sipped tea with the Queen of England, and became best friends with Bill Clinton.
The past cannot change the present, but we have the choice of changing the future by taking advantage of the present. In doing this, we are ensuring that our future is not representative of our past. Unlike other creation like angels, human beings have the power of free will. Free Will comprises intellect and choice. We can combine these two gifts to shape the lives of our dreams. The third gift that we therefore have is the gift of life. Life is an occasion to be celebrated. Don’t waste it. You have a fantastic future ahead of you.
We now have the fantastic opportunity to combine these three gifts with two weapons that every person should exploit to drive us to the mountaintop of our desires. The first weapon is prayer, that is the fundamental and premiere weapon of a human being.
Even if we have amassed destruction in our lives, prayer is a potent weapon of mass construction that has the power to change the course of our destiny. The other weapon is the power of affirmations. An affirmation is a voluntary statement of confirmation validating a set of facts.
You can be a very positive person by nature, and continuously repeat an affirmation corroborating this conviction by saying I’m happy and positive ten minutes when awaking each morning and ten minutes every evening before going to bed. You can repeat it to yourself when in the car, while exercising, and even when in the loo.
The mind cannot distinguish between what is real and what is surreal. This technique will work even if you are pessimistic by nature, by conditioning your mind to believe what you want it to believe. If you do so with sincerity with a conviction engulfed in an unwavering belief that you are positive, optimistic, and happy, you will undoubtedly become this.
Though the mind cannot distinguish between the irrefutable and the hypothetical, it can differentiate between a positive word and a negative word. Rather than saying I’m not a negative person, choose to repeat to yourself, I’m fantastic and unique continually. Instead of saying I am not impassionate, rather say I have an ardent love for the world.
As you will repeat these words that will shape you into who and what you desire to become, our affirmations need to be concise and easy on the tongue. You can’t draft out a thesis, internalize it, and expect your mind to turn you into an overnight Professor. So stick to the kiss principle of keep it simple, silly.
You can build your affirmation by using as many descriptive words as possible. These words should be imaginative, colorful, and eloquent that excite and infuse smiles, hopes, and expectations in you. While reciting your affirmations, see yourself being the person that you desire to become. Create a mental picture by visualizing your ambitions, dreams, and aspirations. Then as you recite it, see yourself owning your goal. If you desire to live in a penthouse condo in a skyscraper, for example, see yourself in the lounge, jacuzzi, and pool deck of your sky-scraper. If you desire a family, then complement this vision by imagining your Spouse and kids at your dinner table immersed in a glorious conversation while soaking in the expansive panoramic views of your neighboring towers.
While fighting for our life in a hospital pursuant to the car crash of January 1998, we had a decision to make based on two choices. The first choice was to live. The second was to die. Naturally, we chose the former.
Whenever the morphine waned and the pain re-surfaced, we fed our mind with positive thoughts by continually affirming that each and every day and in every way, we are getting better and better. As the days progressed, our condition improved, and before we knew it, we were moved from Intensive Care to High Care and then to an ordinary ward, and shortly after that, we were home. Every time we found ourselves encircled by a negative thought, we’d starve it of oxygen and denied it the space it sought to survive.
We thought of this as a process of combustion. Combustion is the burning of something, like fossil fuels. For it to succeed, it needs oxygen. If there is no oxygen, the fire will die. The same applies to a negative thought; we have the power to exterminate malignant thoughts by refusing its oxygen. Cut the oxygen supply, and not only will it die, but it will not come back. After the Weekend of Three Miracles at the Cape Sun InterContinental, we realized that our Self Esteem had taken a beating. To remedy this, we regularly fed our mind with a proclamation that we love that we like ourselves, and we like that we love ourselves that became our constant mantra.
Think of our minds as a beautiful garden. Suppose we nurture it by regularly mowing the lawns, pruning the roses and watering its gardens. In that case, it becomes an illustrious botanical garden that will showcase the most beautiful manicured and pedicured greenhouse. It will become a powerful tool to advance our purpose, goals, and objectives strategically.
Reciprocally, if we ignore it, it will end up neglected and grotesque. Suppose we fail to fertilize our thoughts with rich and abundant soils. In that case, our mind will start looking to its external environment to fill it with whatever it can, quickly sipping every negative thought around it so that it can fashion us into someone less than we ought to be. Our minds will end up looking like an uncultured jungle. The choice on whether we wish to have it doited so that it yields minuscule riches or exploited to return abundant wealth, our dear friends, is ours.
Appreciate that our minds can only entertain one thought at a time, so making the shift from pessimist to optimist is easy. To cultivate a positive mindset, become acutely cognizant when a negative thought enters our mind and quickly replace it with a positive thought. We inserted a note into our smartphone to help us with this, reminding us to starve negative thoughts of oxygen and replace it with a positive thought whenever it emerged. By rooting out rubbish thoughts, our mind started becoming a wondrous evergreen.
Changing just one thought changed our world. Great things will be achieved when your affirmation is combined with seeking the help of The CEO of the Universe. Exponential changes in your life will occur when you affect minuscule and straightforward changes clothed in the iron from your mind and your mint's currency. If you wish to accelerate the progress of your life, let the power of affirmations converge with the power of prayer. Instead of saying I'm living my dream life, say All Praises to The One CEO of the Universe for giving me my dream life. By acknowledging the oneness, presence, and abundance of The CEO of the Universe in our lives, we are paying homage and tribute to Him, that it is not through our genius, effort, and work that we have what we have. Still, we are who we are through His infinite mercy, benevolence, and generosity. In doing so, we are also developing humility.
When you do this, riches will come from sources that we can neither imagine nor fathom.
One day out of the blue, we received an unsolicited WhatsApp call from a man we had never heard. He spoke in broken English and asked whether we were aware that we were the legitimate owner of a property that belonged to our paternal grandfather, who passed away five decades ago. It sounded like a scam, and we didn’t pay much attention to it. Over the coming weeks, he sent us documents over WhatsApp related to the property that was scribed in a foreign language that we did not understand. We asked him to stop, but he would not relent. He had the Title Deed translated into English and notarized by a Lawyer. It suddenly started looking a lot more credible, so we visited the Indian Embassy in our city to validate it. After doing some checks, it was confirmed as authentic. Shortly after that, we received another random call, this time from a distant family member who we hadn’t had contact with for almost a decade. He told us about the property in that conversation and made an offer to purchase the property. As we were in the throngs of developing our Personal Development business, we weren’t yet making money, so our resources were quickly depleting, and cash was a scarce commodity. He made us a market-related offer that we accepted. After sharing our inheritance with our siblings, we could buy ourselves runway to complete the development of our product and take it to market.
When we acknowledge The One CEO of the Universe, that He is abundant, infinite, and unlimited, He sends us help when we need it most and from sources that we least expect. That windfall couldn’t have come at a better time because Banks, Private Equity firms, and Venture Capitalists didn’t express any appetite in funding our business.
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